Chiron retrograde now is a grand ending to my waning Chiron return, which was over the top! Just as Neptune retrograde is like the tarot card reversed, Chiron retrograde is a review of recently healed wounds which are healing over to functional state. I would think by Chiron Direct in December I will be 100%. It was a very long process, 2 1/2 years. If you persevere, you will get through it. Keep on. It won’t kill you and the loss of the density is palpable. It is at times a shock but in a good way, still a shock, you will change depending on the level of healing. Mine was super deep, of necessity, and I can climb out of the cave that I have been in since February now that Chiron is in retrograde. It’s really amazing. I know it’s not DONE, but this part of the process I can say with a huge sigh of relief, it’s over now. I feel ready to stand up at least and shake off the residue, the minor sweat of the last few pulses.
The very last pulse was a few days ago. I will describe this experience because I knew I had mastered a lesson and the empowerment I felt by solving my problem without looking outside of myself, was quietly triumphant.
I have been very sensitive lately and having inspiration in nutrients for my triangle being. I began to feel outside the gates, outside the village, I could see but not touch. I swirled in a pool of potential and lightning strikes and thunder were frequent but dull. Like watching television, which I never do, but it felt like that, the zombie flotation simulator. But inside the pain was escalating, it would not be ignored. Flashes of injustices startled me and I had to look at it. Stare at it, damnit! I was afraid but the fear was blocking my well. I saw a deep well and I knew it was my own water, to love however I wanted to, to give it away and share more love wherein, the well was full again. But it is dark and lots of unknown to wonder about. Suddenly every little drop in the well mattered and I wanted to get to it and drink. But the pain…omg. Like a knife inside my heart squeezing the life force out of me. WHAT IS IT? WHAT DO YOU WANT? I broke. Hot salty tears flowing like damn burst and I knew I better act quick. My witnessing self was trying to help. I drew a long hot borax magnesium baking soda bath and I cried all my tears into the water until I was exhausted. Like I said, it’s over now. Here is a poem I got a few months ago and I keep coming back to it. It comforts me.
NOISE, it’s been played, had it’s heyday, it’s moment in the Sun.
White noise, scrambled eggs, gyro scope, deep well fills with water.
Here comes the water. It’s not just rain, it’s tears.
Oh, the horror of those years!
The factuals and actuals, fractals and spheres
The cover of darkness shattered by those tears.
Distorted words restored by lovers of truth with the sword wielded by the warriors of THE VIOLET FLAME.
The nervous nebulous sphere of trauma embodied in us…
BEHOLD! THE SPHERE TURNS TO GOLD!
The alchemy of music sweeping, calling on the Guardians, crying out to Joy, saying inside “It’s over now! You are safe! Be at peace!”
Love rushes in. Creative destruction is Love Supreme.
The new moon will be my COMPLETION cleansing. By my actual birthday which coincidentally is ON the Cancer Full Moon on the 19th of July, I will present myself to the world a changed woman, infinitely stronger and wiser, celebrating life in real time. so much love…