The Crucible Before Cancer New Moon

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20170622_052607It’s been a very interesting week TO SAY THE LEAST! Yesterday was the crucible for me. I passed the test, I am SO happy to report. I feel like I am checking in with Command Central. I am natal Cancer Sun and 27 degrees feels like an eternity away. Usually the 12th House of my Sun is cray cray historically. However, this time, I want this one to correct that once and for all time. I have clear direction now that I have been developing all year in such a focused way. I know what I am supposed to be doing now and it’s such Bliss! But, apparently there are significant hidden energies/enemies lurking in the dark of the Moon and these errant children want attention! How can I be done with the drama? It’s SO “old paradigm”! I thought I was past my Chiron wound of such blatant violation of my sacred space. (long story, the details of which are not important). But, NO. There’s more!

Okay, anyone feel something around 3pm Central yesterday? (22 June ’17) It went on for a few hours or a few minutes/nanoseconds (I can’t tell). I felt what we would call HELL on Earth and every loving beautiful harmonious thing came to a halt and didn’t exist. It was not a good feeling at all. I was horrified by what I felt and saw with my physical eyes and “I” eye.

I pulled off the highway in the blazing heat, no air conditioner in my little jalopy (nicknamed baby jesus ♡, the little truck that “could “) into a Jack in the Box. How ironic right? Surprise! “You are now in the cauldron! haha, let’s see how you fare now.” Oh really? This is what you are giving me? I am Sun of god, just like you, just like all of us, we are lights, sources of current,THE source of currency. This thing, this violation of my sacred space is not acceptable or even physically mentally spiritually DOABLE! Ok, there’s that. Ugh. But, now, I must ACT. I was born for this but it’s got to be effective and most of all, lasting. I don’t want to keep fighting the same f*ing battle OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

So what to do? Well, I invoked the Violet Flame three times; BLAZE BLAZE BLAZE, THE VIOLET FIRE, TRANSMUTE ALL SHADOW INTO LIGHT LIGHT LIGHT. I spoke to everyone, Saturn, Venus, Sun, Mercury, the Guardians, ALL OF THEM. I told them/me to step up. I demanded it! I clenched my lowest chakra region and blew out a geyser of Light force out of my crown, the strongest I could muster sitting there in stopped traffic on a major interstate smack in the middle of the day. It’s that moment in time when victimhood turns into confusion then anger, then action. Something happened internally where I know, instinctively, all things derive from.

Geez, this same theme keeps popping up in my life and recently, since Venus turned Direct, literally three times now I have been, what I call, “SHOT OUT OF A CANNON” only the first two I did fly, I had no choice. But, this one, it’s a threat only, telling me to shoot myself out of the cannon. Should I? Why? It’s not my choice. I don’t have to obey, or acclimate to unreasonable demands. Obviously it is something important and there are layers to it, of course. The first manifestation in April was shocking, so was the second and this time again, shocking. But, so similar in nature, WHAT IS THE LESSON HERE? WHAT AM I TO DO ABOUT THIS? IT CANNOT KEEP HAPPENING!! I guess I just needed to peel the layers and as I do, it becomes more holographic, more shallow, almost cartoonish. It isn’t comedy though. Life lessons is serious business. There is nothing funny about being violated personally, socially or any way at all. But the cartoonish part is because, this time, it is so BLATANTLY RIDICULOUS and actually impossibly wrong, so clear to see by objective persons. Still, it’s personal and I have to deal with it.

So, in the truck, sitting in baby jesus, sweat pouring from my face, I raged harmonious (yes, almost violently if that’s possible) with intensity. I made a connection etherially, not feeling relief so much but knowing that my absolute refusal to embrace victimhood ever again was solid. I had already accepted responsibility where mine lay, so the rest of it was out of my hands, so to speak. The traffic jam loosened up finally and when I got home two hours later I grabbed my guitar and headed out to confront whatever this was with my weapon of choice, my songs. I cannot explain this event/process in any other terms of what overcame me and how things transpired. If you don’t understand literally what this is, please feel free to contact me. I will answer any questions anyone has. Some of you understand what this is, so thank you for being here. All I can say is that over and over, the onslaught, my sonic Tsunami raged for 5 HOURS! When I got home later I enclosed myself in my Goddess canopy cave in my safe space and slept soundly. Sunrise awoke me to a new day. And so, here we are. Happy New Moon in Cancer my friends. Plant your seeds, carefully watch over them for 3 days…nurture yourself, rest, take a plethora of mineral baths, swim in the ocean, love those who are around you, be still moment to moment. It’s all good, okay? Love to all.

m.a.

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